


Fly (well, bug) on the Wall

by seawench



Series: Bookends [3]
Category: Marvel Avengers Movies Universe, The Avengers (2012), Thor (Movies)
Genre: F/M, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-11-15
Updated: 2012-11-21
Packaged: 2017-11-18 16:47:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 781
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/563235
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seawench/pseuds/seawench
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Various conversations recorded by the device that Tony totally did not put in the apartment Darcy told him she picked out to move into with Bruce.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Sweet Persuasion

**Author's Note:**

> These will be mostly unbetaed, so please let me know if there are mistakes or if the wording is awkward. They may not all be in chronological order. When they're all done, I'll make an approximate timeline.

“I still don’t know why you won’t move in with me. Objectively...”

“Objectively, the tower has more amenities, is closer to work, blah, blah, blah.”

“You’re agreeing with me...”

“No, I’m agreeing that you have made some good points. However, none of those points is going to convince me to live in the same building as Tony Stark.”

“He’s not that...”

“He is that bad. I love the man, but last time I stayed the night, he rewired your suite to play Barry White every time we kissed. I’d be happy to stay in Harlem.” 

“Your apartment...”

“Is a shoebox, which is why we are here, five blocks from your science boyfriend. Close enough to the tower that you can get there by the time Clint is finished suiting up. Far enough away that I don’t have to worry about Tony putting robot snakes in our bed.”

“It was only the one time...”

“And that was one time too many. I have enough stress in my life without android reptiles. Will you at least look around?”

“It does have a nice balcony. Much better than your rickety fire escape.”

“And there is a huge oven. I might start baking pies.”

“Pies?”

“Pies that we can with ice cream while we sit on the balcony. Who knows, there might even be stars.”

“That sounds … nice.”

“Good. Now will you shut up and sign the lease?”


	2. Moving Day

“What the hell is that?”

“Um … It looks like a lamp?”

“What did she do, ship me the entire basement? I just wanted my books and my chair.”

“On the plus side, we now have three deviled egg plates.”

“What?”

“And this one is shaped like a candy cane.”

“Oh, god. What’s wrong with her?”

“Your mother is an interesting person.”

“Is that a stuffed squirrel?”

“Flying squirrel, if you want to be specific.”

“I don’t even …”

“And ski boots. I didn’t know you skied.”

“I don’t.”

“Then why? Oh, here’s a note.”

“Let me see that.  
‘Dearest Darcy,  
Since you have been using my basement as a free storage facility for the last 7 years, I am including some items for you to store at your new place as well as some family heirlooms. Please enjoy these mementos from Grandpa Bob.’”

“You weren’t kidding about the passive aggression. Who is Grandpa Bob?”

“My dad’s dad. The squirrel was his. It always creeped Mom out, but she couldn’t bear to throw it out after Dad died.”

“So she just kept it in the basement for ten years?”

“Apparently. I told you she was weird.  
‘I hope you can find use for some of these lovely household products I’ve received as gifts from you and your brothers over the years. I don’t entertain much these days, so keeping them here would be a waste.’”

“I’m guessing she means the egg plates.”

“‘Say hello to Bruce for me. I still think he’s too old for you, but I suppose if he makes you happy, it’s alright with me.”

“You said your mother liked me.”

“She does. She just thinks I’m too immature to keep you around.”

“She knows I work with Tony Stark, right?”

“Fortunately she’s never met him, so that doesn’t mean much.  
‘Have fun setting up the new place. I can’t wait to see it. Maybe I’ll come down after Thanksgiving to do some shopping.’”

“Wait, your mother is coming to visit? Here?”

“I didn’t invite her, if that’s what you’re asking. She’ll probably guilt me into picking a weekend since I’m not going up for Thanksgiving.”

“Maybe there will be a disaster in Antarctica...”

“Don’t even think about it, Dr. Banner. If the world has not actually ended, you will be here demonstrating that we live in perfect harmony.”

“Oh yes, perfect...  
Aah! Don’t throw that thing at me. I hate squirrels.”


	3. The Morning After

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to myownknight for a super speedy beta!

“You stupid bastard!”

“Huh? What’s going on?”

“Stupid, fucking...”

“Darcy, please stop kicking the stove.”

“It burned the muffins! It deserves to be punished.”

“It’s ok. We can eat something else.”

“But I wanted to make you breakfast.”

“That’s sweet, but really, it’s ok.”

“We had our first real fight and our first sweaty make-up sex.”

“Ok...”

“I wanted us to have our first breakfast in bed.”

“Again, that’s sweet but...”

“And now it’s ruined!”

“Did you really want a bed full of crumbs?”

“Yes!”

“That would have gotten stuck in uncomfortable places?”

“No? Gah! Why do you have to be so practical?”

“You know, you’re quite fetching when you’re angry, especially when it’s not directed at me.”

“Really?”

“Why don’t you let me show you?”

“Oh, Dr Banner, whatever could you mean?”

:: Audio recording deleted 10:07:53-10:48:24 authorization Jarvis 257CX90 ::

**Author's Note:**

> Anyone want to volunteer to beta read these?


End file.
